The original play included recordings by the pop group AHA. For copyright reasons they had to be edited out of the recorded version you find here. Below the recordings you will find a written version.
THE FIRST OF JUNE
Happy Birthday June was written all over the first of June on the calendar in the kitchen. The year was 793 AD, the place Lindisfarne island off the Northeast coast of Britain. How could anyone forget June’s birthday. She would sing ‘Happy birthday to me’ during the weeks leading up to her birthday, driving her parents mad.
“Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday to me-he.
Happy birthday to me”
Finally the day had arrived.
“Happy birthday June”, said June’s Mum.
Mum and Dad both started singing:
“Happy birthday dear June.
Happy birthday dear June.
Happy birthday to dear Ju-hoon.
Happy birthday dear June.”
“I love you Mummy and Daddy. I am so happy”, said June. “Your Father and I made you a present. It’s a boy dolly.” “Oh thank you Mummy I am so happy, oh it’s a dolly. I wanted one of them for so long, oh thank Mummy, thank you!”
“We read about dollies in a magazine,” explained Dad. “It’s the latest craze in Europe. A dolly is like a little person that you can play with. Since your Mother and I do not have much money, we decided to make one for your birthday. I made the dolly and your mother made the clothes”.
“Oh thank you, thank you. It is so wonderful. Oh my first dolly, thank you”
June just would not shut up she was so excited. She kept on screeching “Thank you, thank you.”
Then there was a sudden knock on the door. “Let’s see who that is”, said the father. “Ahhh, A-hab!” screamed June. She ran to the door to give A-hab a big kiss and a hug. “Happy birthday June”, said A-hab. “I brought you a present.”
“Well June, aren’t you going to open it?” asked Mum. “Ohhh, another present, thank you A-hab. That’s my second one. Oh I am so happy, another present”.
“It’s a monk dolly, June”, explained A-hab. “The monks read about it in a magazine. It’s the latest craze in Europe. A dolly is like a little monk that you can play with. All the monks in the monastery helped making it”. “Oh thank you A-hab, thank you”, said June. “Oh thank you, thank you thank you!
Another dolly, now my dolly has a friend”. Over the next few days nothing could come in between June and her Dollies.
June’s happiness was short lived unfortunately. Her life was about to change forever. A week later on the eighth of June, Vikings from Sweden sailed across the North Sea to raid the island of Lindisfarne. They were after the riches of the monastery. They plundered the local village before they got to the monastery and murdered the villagers.
“Run June, run!” screamed Dad. “Go find A-hab and hide in the monastery”, added Mum. Those were the last words her parents ever said before they were murdered, right in front of June’s eyes. June was terrified and ran for her life. The Vikings went from house to house looting, burning and killing.
Exhausted June arrived at the monastery where she ran into A-hab as he trying to escape the chaos.
“They killed my Mummy and Daddy. Help A-hab help me”, sobbed June, but it was too late. Vikings grabbed them determined not to let them escape.
A young man like A-hab and a little girl like June, would fetch a good price as slaves back in Sweden. Their lives were spared.
June’s Mum and Dad went straight to heaven and took up their new posts as Guardian Angel Mummy and Guardian Angel Daddy.
PAK ‘N SLAVE
June and A-hab were still seeing green from the rough sea voyage.
They had no time to recover before they were taken from the harbour to the Scandinavian Slave Shop called ‘Pak ‘n Slave’. “Super slave sale - buy one, get one free!” screamed the slave merchant. “Many slaves to choose from, new celebrity slaves, ideal for work and play”. Two twin slaves were smiling in the corner holding signs selling themselves. The skinnier on of the two held a sign reading: We specialise in pampering you. His twins sign read: Please beat me if I fail to satisfy you.
“I have some slaves for you”, said the Viking to the owner of Pak ‘n Slave. “Have a look at these two”, he said, determined to interest the slave merchant. “Where are they from, how old are they?” asked the merchant. He knew that they would make popular slaves and would fetch a good price. The young and good-looking A-hab would make an excellent manservant and
June would make a good housekeeper. She was old enough to learn all the chores yet, young enough to be an innocent virgin. She was drop-dead gorgeous, with blue eyes and beautiful blond hair, just like a typical Swedish girl. The type every dirty old Viking would lust after.
The slave merchant bought both of them. Straightaway he placed adds in the slave section of the ‘Truth’. He could have saved himself some money.
Interested buyers were already inspecting the new arrivals. Filip a dirty old Viking walked passed and was the first to spot little June. “Hmm, I like innocent little girls, she’ll be mine”, he quietly said to himself.
“Is she still a virgin?” he asked. “Yes, the cutest British doll”, the merchant replied. Filip got excited just thinking about the prospect of owning her and playing with her. He forgot to bargain and paid top dollars for his new slave.
June felt uneasy and sick in her stomach as Filip took her away. June was terrified and screamed as she was being separated from A-hab and dragged away by Filip by her beautiful long blond hair “A-haaaaab!”
Bjorn-D-Bowden, a thirteen-year-old noble Viking boy, dressed in a red and gold silk outfit, was in the sword shop next door to the Scandinavian Slave Shop. He was shopping for a new sword with his dad, a Viking chieftain.
You can always tell a Viking by the size of his sword. A good sword has to be long stiff and hard, but more importantly it has to perform well in action. “I will take this sword,” said Bjorn-D-Bowden to the shopkeeper. “Hey dad, come here and see these new slaves”, said Bjorn-D-Bowden. He dragged his dad over to Pak and Slave next door. It was Bjorn-D-Bowden’s 13th birthday.
Dad looked at A-hab, “Hmmm, excellent value”, he said quietly to himself.
He bought A-hab as a birthday present for his son. A-hab had just become the new manservant of Bjorn-D-Bowden. A-hab was lucky as Bjorn-D-Bowden was a very kind and noble young Viking.
As soon as June arrived at Filip’s place she was tied up and raped. It made her sick. She begged Filip not to touch her, but he did not care a bit. He added insults to injury by calling her dirty little slut and pathetic pig. “Listen little doll”, “I own you and I can do with you what I want. Tell anyone and I’ll kill you. I will cut you up in little pieces and throw you in the fjords.”
Filip made June sleep with the pigs in their sty. June would crawl up in a ball, as if she had no arms or legs, trying to hide her body, becoming a no-body. “I hate my body”, she cried over and over again.“ I hate my body, I hate my body”. She was unsure of who actually owned her body, she or Filip. She became scared of the dark. Nightmares would haunt her every night. Depression and shame soon fuelled suicidal thoughts.
Guardian Angel Mummy and Guardian Angel Daddy were very distraught seeing their innocent little daughter being abused like that. They knew that the abuse could screw up their daughter for life. Angel Mummy cried. It rained for days in Filip’s village.
Slave girl June was a big dreamer. There were the nightmares about her traumatic experiences, but there were also very different dreams. Psychic dreams of a visionary nature gave June a glimpse of the future. June did not realise at first that these dreams were more than just dreams.
One night she dreamt about a Viking woman called Jorunn. She saw her living in a longhouse with lots of children and slaves. Her husband would regularly go on raids and leave her alone at home. He would comfort her by making little survival packs with a present in it for each day that he would be away. He would write little notes saying sweet things like ‘To Jorunn, with love’, and hide them around the longhouse for her to find.
June’s psychic dreams were not just about her life. Some dreams would take her far into the future and into the lives of others. She also talked a lot in her dreams, as if she was channeling people’s voices. Only the pigs could hear her, but boy did they heard some strange conversations. “I say, I married my life long lover today,” she would say, sounding like a man with a very upper class British accent. The pigs rolled in their sty laughing their heads off.
“Whatever next?” commented June in her own voice, still dreaming. “What the…” thought the pigs. Their laughter turned into utter confusion. They could hear the different voices, but they did not see the images of June’s dream that would explain it all. Another V.I.P. wedding scene had just flashed through June’s overactive brain.
June was unable to run away from Filip, so she escaped in her head. She began fantasizing about getting married. It would be a nice and kind, slightly older man. One who would love and protect her as a true soul mate. She named him Saint Dominick. He was Italian looking, tall, dark with deep hazel eyes and smiling white teeth. In her dreams he would come and rescue her from Filip. They would of course live happily ever after. In her dreams she screamed on her wedding day I do, I do, I do, only to wake up sweating in her bed of straw among the pigs in the shed.
June felt very different from other people. Her baggy clothes helped her to conceal her body. The last thing she wanted to do is attract more attention from dirty old Vikings like Filip. There were many of them around. It was as if she could see their erected penises peeking through their clothes. She could read their minds repeating, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” overriding her clear, persistent and loud “Noooooo”.
June’s body turned red and purple every time Filip would rape her. She cried but for him it was just a big joke. He was so much bigger; she had no way to defend herself. He would hold her down with one arm while holding a sword in the other. June was confused, and wondered: “Am I still a virgin?” In her heart and mind she was, but physically she no longer was.
“We have to get her away from him”, said June’s Mummy Guardian Angel.
She still cried tears from heaven. Daddy Guardian Angel tried in vain to comfort Mummy Guardian Angel.
Four years after Filip bought June he allowed her to go alone to the weekly market to shop for salt, whale meat and wine. She was desperately hoping that one day she would bump into A-hab. She had fallen pregnant and needed help to escape Filip. He would surely kill her and the baby as soon as he would find out.
One week she spotted A-hab and managed to make eye contact with him.
He quietly gestured to her to move away from the crowds and go behind a longhouse where no one could see them together. “Help A-hab, Filip made me pregnant and I don’t know what to do” screamed June, unable to contain herself. A-hab stayed calm and told June: “Go back to your body, stay calm, don’t panic, don’t freak out.” Quietly A-hab mumbled: “I hope you get murdered you asshole.” It wasn’t a holy thought but A-hab could not help it.
“Don’t worry June I will help you. I will think of a plan. Lets meet again next week at the same time. I am just so happy that you are still alive.”
Guardian Angel Mummy said to Guardian Angel Daddy, “thank God she met A-hab. She will be looked after from now on.”
June could barely wait till the following week. She worried all week about how A-hab could possibly help her. After all he was a slave himself. But what she didn’t know was that the relationship between A-hab and his master was nothing like June’s relationship with Filip. In fact they were best friends. A-hab was very upset seeing June in such despair. He was willing to do anything he possibly could to help her. A-hab prayed every night asking for divine intervention.
The day before he was about to meet June again he was meditating in Bjorn-D-Bowden’s garden and suddenly saw a vision of Bjorn-D-Bowden and June being a happy couple. “Of course” he said to himself. “Why did I not think about this sooner? The two most beautiful people I know should be together.” Girls from the village constantly harassed Bjorn-D-Bowden. None he liked. They were the worst Viking groupies you could imagine. They screamed every time they would spot Bjorn-D-Bowden in the distance. “Bjorn-D-Bowden you sexy beast” they would yell across the street. Bjorn-D-Bowden would be totally embarrassed by their behavior. He could hardly leave his house anymore. A-hab thought that Bjorn-D-Bowden and June would be a perfect match. June would never act like a groupie because she was British.
Bjorn-D-Bowden would be charmed by her modest nature. A-hab asked Bjorn-D-Bowden to come with him the next day to meet June and to see how they could help her.
A-hab and Bjorn-D-Bowden arrived behind the longhouse before June. As June came around the corner she got a fright seeing A-hab with a Viking, but a spark ignited inside her burning off any fears for him. Suddenly all she could see were the beautiful stars in this young man’s eyes. June had just fallen head over heels in love, a feeling she had never experienced before in her life. “We should help her escape to Norway”, said Bjorn-D-Bowden to A-hab.
“How can we do that?” asked A-hab. “We will wait patiently until Filip goes on another raid to England. That won’t be long ‘coz he has been very restless lately. Lets meet again next week”, Bjorn-D-Bowden said, and kissed June goodbye.
June had difficulty walking home. She was in love and her mind was confused. Her imagination took her for a ride on a daydream. Back at Filip’s house reality made her doubt the daydream she just enjoyed so much.
Quietly she began to sing a song to herself.
“For all I know you may have forgotten all about me.
For all I know you may have been joking when you kissed me,
And said I love you too.
For all I know you may already have a girl at home.
For all I know.
For all I know I could be wasting my time.
For all I know I am losing my mind.
For all I know this lonely slave girl’s life is all it will ever be.
For all I know.
For all I know bumping into you was my fate.
This could be my lucky break and escape.
Sometimes I can picture me in your home.
I have so many questions…
But as for answers
Will I ever know?
For all I know you may have forgotten all about me.
For all I know you may have been joking when you kissed me,
And said ‘I love you too’.
For all I know you may already have a girl at home.
For all I know.”
“Wow! I haven’t sung for so long”, she realized. “I could be famous one day, yeah, I wanna be famous.” The following week Bjorn-D-Bowden and June met again. Bjorn-D-Bowden was the spitting image of Saint Dominik including the stars in his eyes. June broke out spontaneously singing, “When I fall in love…” but realized that it was not appropriate to lay your feelings bare. “Oh, sorry”, she said. “Lovely to meet you again”, said Bjorn-D-Bowden. He did not mind her spontaneous outburst.
“Yes yes yes!” said A-hab barely able to contain himself.
“I did it. I’ve brought Bjorn-D-Bowden and June together.
Gee I am good matchmaker. Thank you Lord!” he said, raising his hands to heaven.
Junes Guardian Parents Angels where smiling from heaven while holding hands as if they were falling in love again themselves.
A ‘SPECIAL STAR’ WAS BJORN
Bjorn-D-Bowden had come up with a new and better plan. “Listen”, he said, “I am going to organize a Viking Slave song contest. Surely Filip would not want miss an opportunity like this to show off his slave. I will enter A-hab and that will give us an excuse to be together at the same event. During the contest we can escape through the backstage door. It will take a while before anyone will realise that June is gone, giving us a head start to get to the mountains and cross into Norway.”
“That is an excellent idea” said A-hab, “but I can’t sing to save my life.” “That is O.K.,” said Bjorn-D-Bowden, “You don’t have to win, leave that up to June, she has a beautiful voice.” “You like my voice?” asked June. “Yes I do”, said Bjorn-D-Bowden. “I think you should become a ‘Special Star’.”
“Oh my God!” screamed June. “I am going to be the Special Star I am going to be famous!” “June, June!” said A-hab, having to raise his voice to get June’s attention. “Don’t get carried away, go back to your body. First you have to practice hard and learn how to sing”. “But I can already sing”, protested June, and began to sing one of the many songs she had composed while living with the pigs.
‘I am me again’
“I saw you as a friend
You saw me as a pay package
You tried to change me
But I just wouldn’t do it
You of all people should know
We reap what we sow.
I’m me again
I’m free again
I don’t need your kind of support.”
I lived my life in fear and dread
Where I was controlled
Kicked in the head
Just who do you think you were you Bitch?
You set the law
You’re not the support worker I’ll die for
I’m me again
I’m free again
I don’t need your kind of support.
“Jesus”, said A-hab. Oops he had forgotten for a moment that he was a monk.
“That is great June.” “I made the song all by myself”, said June. “When I was sleeping with the pigs a terrible thunderstorm broke out and I got very scared. I tried to forget about my fears by making up songs. First I was just singing do, re, mi, but that was meaningless and boring so I started to make up words as well. It made me feel happy and I was no longer afraid.” “Well June that is…” but A-hab did not get a chance to finish his sentence. June interrupted him with another song she had composed in the pigsty.
‘Princess in the Real World’
“I’m not a supermodel
Or a movie star
I don’t earn millions of dollars
Or drive a flashy car
I struggle every day on an Invalids benefit
I look up at to the sky and cry out
Oh My God is this it?
“I’m a princess in the real world
Can’t afford diamonds
Can’t afford pearls
I’m still waiting for my fairytale ending
Just a princess in the real world.
I can’t afford make-up
Or cosmetic surgery
I don’t look like a babe
So guys just overlook me
But I can see through all that fantasy
They say you can never be too rich or good looking you see.
I’m a princess in the real world
Can’t afford diamonds
Can’t afford pearls
I’m still waiting for my fairytale ending
Just a princess in the real world.
I don’t arrive at events in a limousine
And I never had champagne with the queen
Actors, celebrities, rich Bitches and snobs
We can all be glamorous in glamorous jobs
But as for me?
I’m a princess in the real world
Can’t afford diamonds
Can’t afford pearls
I’m still waiting for my fairytale ending
Just a princess in the real world.
“Do you like it Ahab?” she asked. “I will be famous one day, won’t I Bjorn-D-Bowden?” she said, trying to enlist support for her aspirations. “Uhhhhhh, yeah, sure”, said Bjorn-D-Bowden, not wanting to dishearten her. He knew she had a long way to go, but trying to get that through to her would be quite impossible right now. “I am going to be the Special Star!” she screamed. “Miss June Special Star!”
Both men laughed, as they realized that she was not going to give up. A-hab began to see how her persistence would one day make her famous. Bjorn-D-Bowden was beginning think that it was a big mistake to tell June that she had a beautiful voice. He also realised that June was indeed a very special person, so different from all those Viking Groupies.
Guardian Angel Mummy and Guardian Angel Daddy clapped and cheered for their little girl and praised the Lord with a victorious Gloria in Excelsis Deo.
“Keep practicing your songs”, said A-hab. “Make sure Filip will hear you sing.
He will idolise you and wanting to show off your talent to other Vikings.” “That’s it”, said Bjorn-D-Bowden, as if a penny had just dropped. “I will call the contest the Viking-Slave-Idol.” June could barely contain herself.
She shook her hands trying to release all the excitement in the same way one would shake off excess water. She kept on saying to herself “I’m going to be famous, I’m going to be famous, oh my God I’m going to be famous.”
It was time for all of them to head home. June could not remember how she got there. She was day dreaming all the way, picturing herself dressed-up performing on stage for hundreds of Vikings. She wondered if Viking T.V. would be there too. Oh, that would be just so wonderful. Gloria in Excelsis Deo was still echoing in the sky.
THE VIKING-SLAVE-IDOL AUDITIONS
Bjorn-D-Bowden went to visit Filip to encourage him to enter June into the Viking-Slave-idol contest. At first Filip was not impressed with the idea of sharing his slave with others. “My slave will not sing in public”, he said.
“But she will be the talk of the town”, Bjorn-D-Bowden said. “No, no, no”, said Filip, but in his mind he was starting to see how June could make him famous too. He saw Bjorn-D-Bowden out with “Well, I’ll think about it.”
“June, I am going to enter you into the Viking-Slave-Idol”, said Filip. “You better make sure you win, June, otherwise I will kill you. I want to be known for owning a famous Viking-Slave Idol.” June tried to look bothered but she knew that a new future with Bjorn-D-Bowden was waiting for her at the other side of the mountains.
The day of the auditions had come. Filip chained June to himself and took her to Stockholm for the auditions. There were well over 2000 Viking-Slave-Idol wannabe’s. June was overwhelmed and excited at the same time.
She wasn’t there to win the contest. She was there to start her new life with Bjorn-D-Bowden. She tried to stay focused on her singing and ignore all the bitching that went on among the contestants and their owners. To her big surprise there was a TV crew filming already interviewing the contestants while they were waiting in the enormous line.
“Oh are you from the TV?” she asked the crew. “I am going to be on TV!” she screamed before they had a chance to answer her question. Her ego was starting to take over. A-hab was not there to remind her to go back to her body. Her head was spinning. So much was happening right now, and it was real, no more daydreaming. Filip signed up June for the competition.
A big sticker with the number 1635 was stuck on her body. She was thrown in front of the judges like a Roman gladiator. She was very nervous, as hardly anyone had gotten through the selection yet.
“And what are you going to sing for us today?” asked the vicious looking Viking judge wearing glasses. “ ‘Pussy Cat’, by Miss Amy Szostak” said June with a subdued voice. “When you are ready”, said a much nicer female Viking Judge encouragingly. What June did not know was that it was all a big act.
Bjorn-D-Bowden had of course bribed the Judges to let June pass the selection. After all he was the boss and the whole contest was about getting June away from Filip. June took a deep breath and sang like there was no tomorrow.
Am a pussycat
And I am all alone
On the prowl as I follow you home
Just a stray that needs a home
Seeking a human who lives on their own
I want to be your pussycat
I want to be your pet
I want to love you
And see what I can get.
And after I’ve been fed
I’ll dance ion your table
And I’ll leap into your bed
Keeping you warm all night
If you treat me right
I want to be your pussycat
I want to be your pet
I want to love you
And see what I can get.
But you know that I can stray
If I don’t get my way
But then I show my loyalty
So you know that I will always
Be your Pussy
I want to be your pussycat
I want to be your pet
I want to love you
And see what I can get.
“Well, you sang that beautifully”, said the nice female judge. “You sang that whole song in tune.” “That was wonderful, you are in”, said a bold Viking. June left the audition room. All the other slaves were waiting anxiously for her reaction. At first she began to badmouth the judges like all the other candidates until suddenly it dawned on her that she had not been rejected but was selected instead. “I am innnnnn”, she screamed. “I am going to be on T.V. I am going to be famous. I am going to be the Special Star, Miss June Special Star.” She had seen herself winning in one of her psychic dreams, but did not realise that this dream was about a real future, her future.
Guardian Angel Mummy and Guardian Angel Daddy were drifting on along white cloud overhead. The clouds were once more alive with the sound of heavenly music.
THE VIKING-SLAVE-IDOL FINAL
For the first time in her life June received a professional makeover. Bjorn-D-Bowden had arranged for June to be dressed in a traditional Norwegian traveling costume. It was an unusual choice for a contest costume, but it would make an excellent disguise for her to escape over the mountains into Norway.
The first ever Viking-Slave-Idol had begun. Bjorn-D-Bowden was sitting next to the exit closest to the backstage doors, ready to join June as soon as she had finished her performance. First it was A-hab’s turn. “Go, A-hab” June screamed. He jubilantly started a Gregorian chant, but that did not sit well with the judges or the audience and he was booed off stage before he could finish his chant. June was next.
Guardian Angel Mummy and Guardian Angel Daddy were neurotically biting their nails. Nail bits fell from heaven and appeared in the sky as shooting stars. June saw one of them. “It’s an omen”, she thought, and made a wish.
“Here is… June, Filip’s slave girl!” roared the announcer. The audience went crazy. Filip glowed with pride. June was so popular. She really was the Special Star. The crowd was waiting with great anticipation. For a moment, just before June would sing her first song, you could hear a pin drop. Here was a slave, abused, and treated like a pig, about to victoriously sing to her heart’s content.
“Look at me
And you will see
Oh can you see the Special Star in me
When I use my heart and soul
That’s when I live out my goal
I’m so proud to be
The Special Star in me
Acting up with all my friend
Each on each depend
Then the world can see
That Special Stars are we
We have dreams and life’s a test
Working, playing, do our best
Acting up together
Living life with zest
Watch our act and you will see
Oh can you see
That Special Star in me.”
The crowd went crazy stamping their feet and screaming, “we want more, we want more.” June did not want to give an encore. All she wanted was to escape and with Bjorn-D-Bowden who was waiting backstage with A-hab.
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer was ready to take them to Norway. They had to leave quickly, before the presenter would invite June back on stage for the results of the contest. Filip would then soon realise that June had escaped into the summer’s night.
June, Bjorn-D-Bowden and A-hab traveled all night before they reached the Swedish-Norwegian border. The midnight sun was still shining brightly.
They paused for a moment and looked back at Sweden one more time, before descending into Norway with a big smile on their faces. “I am free” screamed June from the top of the mountain, “I am free”
The following day June woke up finding Bjorn-D-Bowden kneeling down next to her. As soon as she opened her eyes Bjorn proposed to June. “June will you marry me?” June leaped up and screamed like a ghost who had just
arisen from a grave: “Yes, yes, yes, of course I love you Bjorn-D-Bowden. I love to marry you.” June was no longer a slave girl. She changed her appearance and dressed like a Viking woman. Not much was needed to make her look like a stunning Viking fiancée. She looked elegant and sexy at the same time. She also changed her name. She chose the Norwegian Jorunn because it had ‘u’ ands ‘n’ in it just like her English name June, but more importantly it means love of the chief. “Jorunn”, she practiced in front of the mirror. Now that her makeover was complete June was able to move on from the horrible experiences she endured as Filip’s little sex slave. She could lay those bad memories to rest. The happy days she enjoyed during her earlier years in England were here again.
THE VIKING WEDDING OF THE YEAR.
They choose the 21 June 798 as their wedding day. The wedding was planned immediately after they arrived in Norway, as Jorunn was already six months pregnant. The longest day of the year, with the most hours of sunshine couldn’t have been a more appropriate day.
The whole village came out to see the happy couple getting married.
“Good luck Bjorn-D-Bowden”, said his best man Herald. “Good on you!” screamed a funny looking Viking dressed in a pink tunic with a green cape.
A gay Viking couple holding hands were looking on quietly from a distance.
Local women were up close scrutinizing Jorunn’s dress of course. “Oh my God she looks naked in that dress”, said one of the neighbours with a bitchy voice. “Why did Bjorn marry her?” Her friend ignored her and waived happily to the newly weds. The big smile on her face came straight from her heart.
She, like the majority of people, was just filled with joy to see Jorunn so
happy. Even pussycat had a grin on her face. This was just such a happy fairytale. “I just hope Mum and Dad are able to see this”, said Jorunn.
“They are, June”, said A-hab with a reassuring voice “They are.”
Mummy and Daddy Guardian Angels got hold of their own bottle of bubbly.
Daddy Guardian Angel gave Mummy Guardian Angel a glass and filled it right to the top. The champagne was bubbling out of the glass. Daddy Guardian Angel hung on to the entire bottle, not even bothered to get a glass.
“To our daughter June”, they toasted loudly from heaven, hoping that the whole world would hear their excitement and joy.
Tired from the longest wedding day of the year, Bjorn-D-Bowden carried Jorunn across the threshold into their bedroom. The bed was beautifully made-up with bright red silk sheets. “Oh Bjorn”, said Jorunn. I love you so much, wasn’t the wedding day really beautiful? The fairytale wedding was over but their honeymoon was just beginning, filled with romance and sex.
On the 14th night of September 798 Jorunn gave birth to not one, but two baby boys. One she called Reidar the Viking and the other was called Morten Harket. Trust a Gemini to give birth to twins. June was very happy with her new life as Jorunn, wife of a noble chief. No one especially her children was ever to find out that she once was a slave girl, as that would make her children slaves as well. The twins looked identical but their characters couldn’t have been more different. Baby Morten Harket had a very gentle nature. He loved butterflies and flowers. He could not get enough of the stories from the bible that A-hab would read to him at bedtime. Morten Harket could sing well before he could talk. He inherited the singing voice of his mother. He constantly was humming his favourite song ‘Take on me’.
Reidar the Viking was a wild baby. He was always picking fights with his brother, and screaming, “Kill the monk!” He found A-hab’s nighttime bible story reading episodes extremely boring. He just did not have the attention span needed to follow the plot. Whenever Bjorn-D-Bowden would go on a raid, Reidar the Viking would throw a tantrum, as he wanted to go on a raid with his daddy. He was an angry little fellow that took after his biological father. Bjorn-D-Bowden always had to make sure that his swords were safely locked away. They were Reidar The Viking’s favourite toys.
Grant Parent Guardian Angel Mummy and Grant Parent Guardian Angel Daddy could see how Reidar The Viking would easily fit into the violent Viking society. They didn’t like what they saw though, but that was life in those days.
They were worried about the gentle, sensitive and creative Morten Harket.
What would become of him in a Viking society?
JORUNN’S BIRTHDAY PARTY
Filip was outraged when he discovered that June had escaped from the Viking-Slave-Idol competition with Bjorn-D-Bowden and A-hab. He was not going to sit idle. His jealousy and anger fuelled a desperate search to find June. He bribed a slave with thirteen Silver Kroner to find out where they went. The slave did not tell him the truth. She couldn’t bear to betray June, how could anyone? Filip took off and began tracking June and ran into many a dead-end.
Jorunn was celebrating her 15th birthday with her new family and friends when suddenly Filip gate crashed the party. She got a real shock and screamed “Viking Hell!” She quickly checked that baby boys were fine. Reidar The Viking was sound asleep in his room, but she could not find Morten Harket.
His room was empty. Filip got his hands on Morten before Jorunn could protect him. She was terribly scared. When she got back to the party room, Filip was there holding Morten Harket.
Filip began to speak in front of all the guests. “Happy birthday Jorunn”, said Filip in the most charming voice, as if they were best friends. “I haven’t seen you since June!” and he laughed. He went over to her and kissed her. She felt sick. “Oh so, is this your baby June, oh sorry I mean Jorunn?” “Yes” she said. “What do you want Filip?” “Just to see the baby”, said Filip. “What’s his name?” “His name is Morten, Morten Harket.”
What’s wrong with him Jorunn? He looks retarded. The noisy party guests began whispering and gossiping. “Do you know what is wrong with Baby Morten?” Said one guest to the other. “No, but it sounds awful”, replied her friend. Oh my Thor he does look retarded doesn’t he? Morten Harket was a totally normal and fine baby, but Filip’s strategy of starting a wave of gossip was working. He was trying to cast a spell on baby Morten Harket to get back at June. Just as well I am not his father, because if I were I would get one of my Thrall slaves to kill it. Who would want a retarded baby?
Bjorn-D-Bowden was steaming. He went to Filip grabbed baby Morten Harket with one hand and punched Filip unconscious with the other. “Wow” he crowd cheered, anything for a good fight. What is a party without a fight anyway? They carried on as if nothing had happened. A-hab and Bjorn-D-Bowden dragged unconscious Filip outside. Filip came round and quietly slipped away from the party. He was smirking despite his pounding headache. His job was done he had planted the seed of suspicion. The rest he would leave up to the villagers. No doubt that would want to expel or even kill baby Morten Harket.
Jorunn was terrified. “Oh my Thor what will Filip do next she said quietly to A-hab. Jorunn wanted to get Morten Harket to safety, but how? Once again Bjorn-D-Bowden had a plan to help Jorunn. A-hab would take baby Morten Harket and flee to the monastery on Lindisfarne Island. They had to act quickly, before the villagers would spring into action. That same night A-hab and Morten Harket fled to the harbour city of Bergen on the west coast of Norway and immediately set sail for England.
Filip never realized that there was a second baby, so baby Reidar was safe.
That was no comfort to Jorunn at this moment, she was heart broken. “Oh, I will never see him again, I love you Morten Harket, I love you. I will never forget you, oh my dearest baby boy”. “Shut-up June” said A-hab, “go back to your body and stay grounded for the sake of your son. He will get to traumatized and I will have to travel with a screaming kid all the way to England”. “OK A-hab”, said June with a calmer voice. “I will do my best”.
June tried very hard not to let Morten know that he would leave forever. “Let’s all pretend that he going on his big O.E.,” said Bjorn-D-Bowden. “In that way he will leave with happy memories”. “Yes that’s a great idea,” screamed June and A-hab together. “Please take good care of him A-hab, I will miss you too.
Will I ever see you again?” “Don’t you worry Jorunn, we will always be in spirit with you”, said A-hab. “I know that you will see Morten Harket again one day.”
A-hab was unable to promise anything else, as he knew it would be the last time he would ever see Jorunn. Letting her baby Morten Harket go was heart braking for Jorunn. She new that her son would be saver growing up in a monastery in England than among Vikings in Norway, but still... “Never tell Reidar or anyone who his real father is”, pleaded Jorunn with her husband Bjorn-D-Bowden. She now realized the danger she and her children were still in. If anyone would ever find out that she once was a slave girl, it would ruin her baby’s future.
Guardian Angel Mummy and Guardian Angel Daddy were sobbing in heaven. They knew all too well what it feels like to loose a child.
Reidar grew up as an only child. He was too young to remember that he had a twin brother. One day Reidar was paddling his Viking boat on a fjord surrounded by beautiful forested mountains. He was alone, enjoying the peace and quiet. Suddenly an intense feeling of loneliness overwhelmed Reidar as if a monster had risen from the depth of the fjords. An intuitive feeling was telling him that a part of him was missing, a big part. This was a familiar feeling he experienced since he was born. He could not make any sense of it. He tried to ignore it but it would come back to him again and again. Reidar inherited his mother’s sixth sense. He had no idea of how to use this ability so it lay dormant, except when he was dreaming.
Hundre (hundred) and tjugo (twenty) Kroner bank notes were drifting together with a strange ten dollar banknote from New Zealand in Reidar’s dream. An army of wives, mistresses, and female sex slaves strutted their stuff through Reidar’s dream in high heels and sexy lingerie. Their bums stuck up in the air.
Reidar was definitely a straight boy and having fun. A blonde, brunette and red triplet wore ‘I love R’ necklaces around their neck. They were all madly in love with Reidar. Suddenly he screamed in his dream ”oh my God, it’s Marilyn Munroe”, not in white but dressed in a Norwegian flag-dress. She screamed too, annoyed with two shadowy figures from the Norwegian secret services.
They followed her everywhere making sure she would not discredit her Norwegian ancestry. Slaves were tending to his enormous flock of sheep. Boy he was rich and happy.
Reidar helped his dad on the farm. He was a very strong-willed and independent young man. One day an experience changed Reidar’s life forever. He was out walking in the forest when another Viking suddenly attacked him from behind. “He you little Viking boy, do you wanna see my sword?” It was Filip who had been waiting for an opportunity to get Morten Harket. He did not know that it was Reidar his twin brother who he was stalking. He grabs Reidar and pulls him onto the bushes. “You look just a sexy as your mother Morten Harket”, said Filip. “I’m not Morten Harket, you pedophile. You got the wrong boy, let me go”, said Reidar in a cheeky tone, trying to cover-up his fears. Reidar tried to run away, but Filip grabbed him by his clothes, which ripped open. This got Filip really excited, but Reidar’s was not amused. He got very angry and thrusted his elbow into Filip’s groin. “Oh, you little bastard, come back”, screamed Filip. Reidar ran for his life. Filip was in total agony and unable to keep up with Reidar who ran home like hell.
He had just learned how dangerous Viking life could be.
Reidar decided that he had to toughen up and learn how to fight. He went to his dad Bjorn-D-Bowden. “Dad can you please teach me how to fight now”, he said with an urgency in his voice. “Yes Reidar”, said his dad of course.
I think you are old enough to join the Saturday Morning Viking Fighting Club.
The following Saturday Reidar joined the Saturday Morning Viking Fighting Club. “Welcome”, said Olaf the fighting master. “Welcome to ‘Take-on-Me’”.
“Isn’t this lesson one”, asked Reidar confused. “Sort off Reidar”, but we Vikings call it ‘take-on-me, a-hahaha’”, he said laughing. Reidar felt embarrassed and was keen to get started. He just wanted to become a powerful Viking and go on many raids.
Growing up in the monastery was great fun for Morten Harket. There were lots of other young boys who were sent there by their families. Morten was too young when he left Norway to really remember his family and did not suffer from homesickness. The monastery was his home. He particularly enjoyed all the singing in the monastery. “One day I wanna be pop star”, said Morten to A-hab, but A-hab was not impressed with that idea. “That is the music of the devil,” said A-hab. “You should stick to Gregorian Chants instead”. “Gregorian Chants are boring”, said Morten. “I like pop music much better, I am sure the villagers would too. We should have a pop-mass”, he suggested. “You will attract more local kids to the church that way. I can do the singing,” he suggested. “Please, A-hab, can I please?” “No”, said A-hab, “and that is the end of the matter”.
Morten was not letting go of his aspirations that easily. He kept on dreaming of having his own band one day. He got some of his friends together and told them about his plans. His friends Mags and Paul liked the idea and together they decided to start a band. They had to come up with a name, as without a name there is no band. “What about The Monkeys”, said Mags. “No” said Morten “that name is already taken.” “How about “Stairways to heaven?”
Morten disagreed again. “Too long and complicated”. “Aha” said Morten, “I have got an idea. Uhhhhhh, oh I forgot”. “Well why don’t we call it Just A-ha” said Paul. “Yeah”, screamed Mags and Morten together. They began writing songs immediately and practicing in secret.
Less and less villagers were turning up at mass, which was held every Sunday at the monastery. The Pope decided to come to the rescue.
It was time to use the power of Television. He traveled from The Vatican with the Monk T.V. crew. The following Sunday morning the Pope said another boring Latin mass. The fact that it was recorded for T.V. did not make it anymore interesting. Morten and his friends got up in the middle of a Gregorian chant and started singing their latest song; “the sun always shines on TV”. “What is a T.V.?” asked a statue of Saint Dominic watching the scene from the chapel walls.
“Who is the Dummy playing that devilish music”, screamed red-faced abbot A-hab. “How can they do that in front of the Pope?” “Oh God, please make them stop”, said an older Monk who loved his Gregorian Chanting. Judgmental and mean monk Simon Cowell kneeling in the front row turned his thumb down saying, “I am really sorry Morten Harket, but you will never be a pop idol”.
MORTEN BECOMES A MONK
Flickering candle flames lit the chapel. Morten Harket laid full length before the altar completely still while the solemn service continued around him. His body was draped in black cloth at his head and feet. Morten had turned 21 years old and was taking his vows to become a monk. It was hard to imagine what a life outside the monastery would be like, in fact the outside world scared Morten. He was quite happy to live in the safety of the monastery for the rest of his life.
The church bells rang twice to mark his passing into monk hood. Brother Morten as he was now called had sworn to live in the monastery for the rest of his life and give up all his worldly possessions, never to marry, and always obey his superiors. “You can rise now Brother Morten,” said abbot A-hab, he rose and went to take his place besides the other junior monks in the choir.
After the ceremony A-hab congratulated Morten Harket on this important occasion in his life. Suddenly A-hab fell to the ground. Old age was catching up with him. He had been waiting and longing to see his adopted son taking his vows. There was nothing more to live for. As he was breathing his last few breaths, a psychic vision came to him, which he felt compelled to share with Morten who was kneeling beside him. “Soon you will meet your brother Morten”, said A-hab with a fading voice. “Please don’t be angry with him for he is not a Christian and he has no regards for others”. “What are you talking about A-hab, I don’t understand”, said a confused Morten. “I thought I was an orphan with no family at all.
A-hab was unable to answer his question, and died in the arms of his beloved Morten. “Don’t die”, whaled Morten, “please don’t leave me”.
Guardian Angel Mummy and Guardian Angel Daddy opened the gates and welcomed their old friend A-hab into heaven.
REIDARS 21ST BIRTHDAY
Reidar the Viking was becoming a man now. His dad had build a longhouse for him about one block away so Reidar could begin an independent life.
Reidar was excited to get his own place away from his parents. He had to have a party to celebrate his independence. He invited all his friends, and girls, lots of them. The dishes piled up in the kitchen, socks were covered in flies, dogs were peeing in the corner, porn magazines were allover the floor in his bedroom, mixed with empty beer bottles, and then… the morning after.
Shock horror, he had a huge hangover, but that was the least of his worries.
He had no clue how to clean up all this mess. “I need a slave,” he said to himself. “Yeah I am going on a raid and get myself a British butler”. Reidar set sail for the British Isles. He landed on Lindisfarne Island. The Vikings stormed the village and the monastery. Little did Reidar know that he was following in his father’s footsteps.
“A-Ha I like the look of him, I think he would make a very good sex slave. “We’ll have a gay ol’ time”, a Viking said with his eyes almost popping out from excitement. He grabbed Morten Harket the Bible-bashing monk from behind. “Please be gentle with me, it’s my first time”, Morten said. “God save me” Morten prayed. Little devil spirits were dancing in the flames of the burning houses. Only those with psychic abilities could see them.
Amy the woman Viking warrior tied up the village social worker Di in ropes.
Di was still clinging on to her handbag as if she had just evacuated a plane after an air crash. “We reap what we sow”, she yelled at the Vikings. Little did she know that her own karma was actually catching up with her big time. Bottoms-up big boy said another woman Viking warrior getting her way with a terrified local victim. The Vikings were getting high on the fear of their victims.
Clouds appeared and turned the day grey. Rain began poring down from heaven. Morten started singing and dancing in the rain.
“Here I stand and face the rain
I know that nothing is going to be the same again
I fear for what tomorrow brings”.
After the raid had finished Reidar and his men took monks back to Norway as slaves, among them Morten Harket the bible bashing singing monk. His brown robe had a cross of gold on the front with the word GOD embroidered in black capital letter. In his left hand he clung on to a huge bible.
In his right hand he held a microphone. “Praise holy God and Church”, he sang out of tune while being dragged away. Jesus cringed on his cross.
“I love you and forgive you for your sins”. “What the heck did Reidar take this one for”, wondered Hawkeye the Viking. “He will never shut up”.
Reidar decided to sell Morten Harket the Bible Bashing monk at Pak ‘n’ Slave. Morten was a good looking and promising young slave but one boat trip was enough for Reidar to get sick of Morten Harket’s behaviour. It was not surprising that his good looks attracted lots of offers. Just as Morten was about to be sold he started to bash onlookers ears with Biblical texts. The slave merchant tried to save face and jokingly asked the crowd; “have any of you Vikings thought about letting Jesus into your lives”? “Oh noooooooo”, the crowd roared. Viking didn’t like bible bashers. They all lost interest in Morten Harket. Reidar got really mad at him. “Don’t you know that Bible-Bashing is hard to sell?” “Tell me about it”, said Morten. Onlookers turned away. “Sorry Reidar you can keep him. Lets go, and get ourselves some sex slaves”, said one buyer to the next.
We did that well didn’t we said Guardian Angel Daddy to Guardian Angel Mummy.
Reidar was left standing with Morten Harket. “Now what”, he said resentfully looking at Morten Harket. “Common, we are going home”. “Here is the new slave,” Reidar said to one of his helpers as he entered the house. “He’s my property. Put him with the rest of my cattle”. Morten was preparing himself to be locked up in some dark stable. He looked up to see the blue sky one last time. This reminded him of a song he sang with his band back in England.
“I’m in this big world without you.
Nothing to my name.
I never knew that blue sky meant such pain”.
He did not get the chance to finish his song. He was pushed inside the stable, the door securely locked behind him. The next day he was allowed out and told to serve Reidar like an English butler. Morten Harket had no idea what an English butler did, as he had lived in a monastery all his live. He soon learned what to do when Reidar was screaming at him “Morten, where is my dinner?”
So off to the kitchen he went cooking up dinner.
The next day Jorunn-D-Bowden came over to Reidar’s house to see the new slave. She had heard through the grapevine that the new slave was baking English scones. She was curious and had to see for herself. She remembered getting scones for tea when she was a little girl on Lindisfarne Island. When she saw Morten Harket her jaw fell open. “Oh my Thor”, she screamed. She was in shock, but not for long, a big grin went from cheek to cheek. “I can’t believe my eyes”, she screamed some more. She continued quietly to herself, “oh, my baby Morten Harket is all grown-up and is now his brother’s slave boy. Maybe I will be able to tell him one day that I am his mother”.
Morten Harket looked surprised at Jorunn-D-Bowden. What on earth did this woman scream about? “Hello” said Jorunn-D-Bowden. “I am Jorunn-D-Bowden, Reidar’s mother. You must be Morten Harket?” She managed to sound a bit unsure. “Yeah, I am”, replied Morten Harket politely. “Tell me about yourself” demanded Jorunn-D-Bowden, “where do you come from?” Morten Harket gave her the one-minute version of his life story. “Well I grew-up in a monastery. A-hab was my abbot. He was like a father to me, but he died just before the raid. Then I met Reidar and became his slave boy.”
June was shocked hearing the news about A-hab, but she had to keep her emotions hidden and pretend not having any connection with A-hab.
Reidar just came home from his battle practice, still wearing his Viking helmet sword and shield and screamed the usual: “Where is my dinner?”
He saw the strange way he mum was looking at Morten Harket. Why is mother fussing over Morten Harket? She is acting like he is her long lost son or something. “Morten Harket, you won’t believe the day I had”, said Reidar.
“Orm insulted Eric’s wife. So Eric fought back and Uif ended up murdered.
What’s for dinner?” Reidar had a short attention span, jumping from one topic to the next all in one breath. “Mother, what are you doing here, and what is all the fussing over Morten Harket about?” “Hello Reidar”, she said when she finally managed to get a word in. “Reidar is so lucky, I wish I had a mother like you”, said Morten Harket while stirring the dinner in the big cooking pot on the fire.
“Tell them for God’s sake”, screamed Guardian Angel Mummy and Guardian Angel daddy, but of course Jorunn-D-Bowden could not hear them. Then they began to send telepathic messages, and June finally got the message.
“Reidar”, she said hesitantly, as she had no idea how she was going to begin to explain the situation. “I have something to tell you, sit down please. Morten Harket, sit down too”. “Yeah mum but I am hungry I want to eat. Where is dinner Morten?” “Reidar”, she now screamed in order to get through to her stubborn son, “sit down and listen to me.” “O.K. mum, O.K. No need to be so up set. I always listen to you, you only have to ask.” “I did ask Reidar, but you are not listening to me, as usual.” “I am listening now, am I not?” said Reidar defensively. “Yes but I always have to scream first before you listen.” Jorunn-D-Bowden began to realize she was getting drawn into an endless and useless verbal battle with her son and smartly changed the subject before it would get totally out of hand.
“Well as I was trying to say before, I have something important to tell you both. I have a big, big secret. This is not easy for me, so please hear me out.” Jorunn-D-Bowden began telling her life story. About her childhood on Lindisfarne Island, the raid and about how she and A-hab ended up in Sweden. “You know A-hab?” said Morten Harket. His mouth stayed wide open from disbelief yet unaware that more amazing facts were still to come. “Yes, she said, “he was a very good friend of mine.” “But how did he get back to England if he was a slave in Sweden? I don’t get it,” said Morten Harket. “Well”, continued Jorunn-D-Bowden and she explained how she was sold to horrible Filip, how he abused her and how she fell pregnant, the great escape plan, and the Slave-Idol contest.
“So Filip is my father”, concluded Reidar. “Yes but not just your father, he is Morten’s father as well.” “What!” Screamed the twins in unison. “Yes, you are brothers, but that’s not all, you are twins, look at each other, can’t you see the likeness?” “We are men Mum, men do look at each other that way.” Encouraged by their mother they took a good look at each other. “Wow, holy reindeer”, they said again in unison.
“You see”, said June, “you don’t not just look like each other, you also talk the same.” “But what happened”, wondered Reidar whose brain was trying very hard to keep up with all this new information. “How come he ended up in England why did I not get to go on my big O.E.?” “It was not quite a big O.E. Reidar”, said Jorunn-D-Bowden. She went on to tell about her birthday party, how Filip gate-crashed her party and tried to put a spell on baby Morten Harket by suggesting to the guests that the baby was mentally retarded.
“How mean said Morten, I am not retarded at all.” “Are you”, asked Reidar with a suspicious and disgusted look on his face, “as I don’t want to have a retarded brother you know, that is sooooo un-cool in Viking society.” “If I were would I be accepted as a scholarly monk, Reidar”, replied Morten Harket. “Uh, I suppose not”, he said defeated. “Well then boys”, Jorunn-D-Bowden continued and she explained how Morten escaped to England with A-hab.
Reidar suddenly remembered the time he got attacked in the forest by a Viking who called him Morten Harket. “Filip tried to rape me”, he screamed as the penny dropped. “I will kill the bastard the next time I see him he said.” “Calm down said his brother, he is still your father, it’s a sin to kill your father.” “What is a sin”, asked Reidar. Morten had forgotten he was in Viking Norway and not on Christian Lindisfarne Island. “You will end up in hell if you kill him.” “Huh, I will end up in hell anyway”, he said, “I killed so many people already.”
Mum changed subject again as she did not want them to have there first argument today. “Oh, I am so happy that I have both of my sons here”, she said. My prayers have been heard, thank you God.” “I am so happy too”, said Morten Harket. “I always thought that I was an orphan, now I have a mummy and daddy. Can I meet daddy he asked impatiently?” “Sure”, said Jorunn-D-Bowden, “let’s go home and have a celebration.” She gave her long lost son a big huh. Tears from happiness rolled down her cheeks onto Morten’s shoulders. “You better have a bath” she said, “you stink like a slave.” “That’s his fault,” said Morten. “No fighting”, said Mum, “not today”, and off they went for a wonderful family reunion.
Bjorn-D-Bowden recognised Morten Harket the moment he stepped through the door. Oh my son, he said, with his arms wide open, oh what a wonderful surprise. Oh how wonderful to have you back in the family. They did a lot of talking that night, until the small hours of the morning. Morten Harket showed off all the songs he had written for his band. It made Reidar jealous. I wanna be famous too he said, lipping. "Oh don’t worry," said Bjorn-D-Bowden. "Your time will come. "You will become a famous Viking one day said Jorunn-D-Bowden, after getting a psychic glimpse of the future.
Reidar heard one day that his father Filip was stalking the forest again. His anger welled up as soon as Filip’s name was mentioned. He wanted revenge, revenge! He was so angry. He wanted to kill his father, thinking that that would solve his anger.
He set out into the woods, looking for his father. He couldn’t believe his luck when he spotted him. He roared and stormed at Filip. I will kill you bastard, he screamed. I will kill you, kill you. You raped my mother, you tried to rape me, you’re a pervert, do you hear me?
Filip was overcome with fear, his arrogance left him standing there without the power to resists. Reidar raised his sword above Filip's head, ready to let it do its job, but something strange happened. He could not move. He froze with his arms raised high up in the air. They refused to come down. Filip saw that something strange had overcome Reidar. Don’t kill me Morten he begged, not realizing that it was not Morten but his twin brother. Please, he pleaded like a coward, I’m you father.
Reidar was still frozen. Filip realized by now that Reidar was paralysed, and did a runner like a scared puppy. Reidar began shaking and sobbing, he sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. He did not understand what was happening to him. Confused and depressed he rode home. He was so disappointed that he did not kill his father. He could not make any sense of it at all.
What is wrong with you, asked Morten when he saw Reidar arrive in a state. Reidar could not speak at first, got of his horse, and collapsed on the floor in the longhouse. He began sobbing again and slowly told his brother what had happened.
Morten began preaching to Reidar, overwhelming him with his bible bashing. God intervened, he said, God prevented you from committing a mortal sin. I don’t believe in God he said frustrated. I don’t understand, stop your bashing, it does not make any sense to me. I’m a Viking, he screamed, not some holy monk.
And off he went again, mounted his horse, back into the forest, not fuelled by anger this time, but out of confusion. He did not realize that his angry emotions were healed and gone, forever.
As Reidar the Viking was riding aimlessly through the forest, he heard a little girl screaming for help. As he got closer he saw how a Viking gang was surrounding a little girl with Downs Syndrome. The gang was very cruel to her, poking her scaring her, screaming at her: You retard! You are crazy! We will kill you, shame on you.
Reidar was suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of compassion for the little girl. He remembered how Filip tried to cast a spell on his brother by claiming that he was a retard. He realized that this would have been his brother’s fate if he had not been taken to the monastery on Lindisfarne Island. Reidar could not bear watching this ugly scene any longer. Something drove him to spur his horse into a gallop, he headed straight for the gang, drove through their midst. The gang did not expect a Viking to attack them, they thought he wanted to join them in the feast they were having. To their utter surprise Reidar grabbed the little girl swung her on in front of him on his horse and drove off. The gang was flabbergasted; their mouths hang wide open from disbelief as they watched Reidar riding off into the woods.
The little girl screamed again, ahhhhhhhhhhh, not from fear this time, but from pure excitement. She loved horses. Her parents used to take her to riding for the disabled. That was a pretty tame bunch. This was the real stuff, galloping through the forests being saved by a handsome hero. She instantly fell in love with this stranger. From that day forward she would stare at him, with eyes begging affection, and there was nothing that Reidar could do or say to change her feelings for him.
Back home, Morten was pacing like a bear through the longhouse. He regretted the bible-bashing attack on his brother. He was delighted when his brother came home. He had not expected him home that soon after their argument. He spotted the little girl. He immediately realized that something unusual had taken place. First his brother rode out to kill his father, now he came back with a little Downs Syndrome girl. Who is this? He asked. My name is B-b-b-bonny, stammered the little girl. Welcome to our house said Morten, you will be safe here. Bonnie did not know what a monk was, but she felt intuitively that she could trust this strangely dressed man. Morten adopted Bonnie without hesitation. She had just transformed his brother in a way that he was unable to do. She was an angel. They bonded immediately; she now had a friend and a lover.
Now that Morten Harket was a free man again he made himself a monks robe. There were no monasteries in Norway so he decided to begin a career as the singing Monk from Lindisfarne. 1:22 Morten became very popular in Norway he became a national Icon. His fame did not stop there all over the world people heard about this new pop star.
His ego got the better of him at times. He would rip open his robe during concerts and expose his naked chest to the women. Just who does Morten Harket think he is singing love songs to us women with his shirt open, were the Viking women saying to each other. It’s disgraceful. He is not a pop star he is a monk, for crying out loud. Yet the women could hardly hide the fact that they were totally in love with Morten. Reidar looked on in disbelief, was that his twin brother? He was very jealous. Women never looked at him when he would rip open his shirt. He was now living in the shadow of his world famous big brother.
REIDAR DISCOVERS AOTEAROA
Reidar could not stand being up staged by his brother all the time. He had to do something to become famous in his own right and to outdo Morten. He decided to travel and discover new territories. So he set sail around the world. He sailed for months on the vast open oceans till one day he spotted a long white cloud on the horizon. On getting closer he got a fright. All he could see were fjords.
Oh no, he said. I am back in Norway, it’s impossible, I failed, I failed. He did not even enter any of the Fjords scared that someone would recognize him and laugh at his failed attempt to discover a new territory. He sailed following the sun trying to head south, at least that’s what he thought. Little he did know that the sun was leading him north along the West coast of the land he had just discovered. He got passed the island, which he believed to be Norway, but then saw another island. He expected to see Denmark, but this was not Denmark at all. Denmark was a low country. He saw nothing but hills. He entered a wild strait looking for a place to land. A beautiful harbour entrance appeared on his left. He sailed in between the hills and spotted a flat valley in front of him, a perfect spot to land and explore this new land. I am not in Norway anymore said Reidar to the little ship’s dog. The little dog wagged his tail, excited to see a tree again. He was bursting…